At the end of the day, admitting that your friend, your neighbor, your relative, your partner, your child, or your coworker might be capable of such selfish aggression and violent or psychological control is not a reality many people want to deal with.
At the time it happened, I believe it was my fault for getting too drunk. It took 25 years to realize that I’d been raped.
I never went to the police because I was drinking and underage. I was afraid of being expelled from school for going to a party. I didn’t have any proof that I was attacked other than my story, and I heard the campus police had a history of victim blaming. The last thing I wanted was to have a cop tell me that I deserved it.
I was told that if a man pays attention to you, you should be grateful. I was told that he’s just flirting. I was told that he couldn’t control himself, that I must have done something to encourage him.
I felt responsible and like I put myself in this situation. I was underage and drinking. I grew up in a very conservative family, very religious, who taught me that drinking, partying, and doing drugs would only lead to bad things. I thought I was being punished by God.
My attacker was one of my best friends in high school.
Nobody noticed what was happening. My mother kept silent for years.
I convinced myself it was a misunderstanding, that I had not actually tried to push him off me, that I should not have given in to curiosity and romance in the first place. I cheated on my boyfriend. This was my fault. Maybe I deserved it.
I still live with one of my abusers. I created a situation where I’m safe and he will no longer do anything to me.
We live in a society that condones rape.
As an adult, I’m SHOCKED no one ever came forward and stood up for the things that were happening to me and my sisters. I have a lot of bitterness and resentment toward family members who were so “close” yet did nothing.
It happened at 3 until I was 12. I didn’t share until I was 12.
I have been raped and sexually assaulted more than once.